To look but not see is to be blind, to see but not look is to be ignorant. #idca

 I am my own adversary. I can't do anything right. My life is a series of failed attempts and it's killing me, but of course I failed at killing myself as well. It's been months now, and no one knows. I want to tell someone, to get help, to escape this never ending drag pulling me under.  But I don't want my life to change. The thought of others looking at me differently, seeing me through a label of depressed and hopeless, terrifies me. And who am I to tell, my parents? They'd look down on me as an idiotic child. They'd never let me out of their sight. I'd be caged within their walls as i am caged within my own. And they'd only blame eachother. I can't stand the fighting. Every day they use new words to say the same dreadful things.
 My teacher has noticed something isn't right. How many times can I lie and say that all is fine? I want him to know that I respect him, that the issue is all my own, that I know home should be left at the door. I can't say anything though. I can't face him; I can't admit the secret songs of sorrow slipping through my visage.