I search the mirror for something to appear, anything that wasn't there before. The skin is clear, the hair is long, but the eyes are there, and nothing more. The light that danced within them has been doused in years of doubt. The fire that burned behind them is ashen, long burned out. The flicker of a candle, and i see the beauty's there. A gentle breeze of thought proves to much for light to bear.
Darkness presses down on me, drowning out the sound. I just want to find the light a keep it burning strong.
First week of 16. I keep looking for changes, for a reason someone would notice me. I stare in the mirror and I don't see anything. Not me now, not me then. I don't see any of it. I know that nothings truly changed, that I'm the same person I was last week, but I don't want to believe that. Every year that passes and I'm still trapped in my head is another year too long. I want to start living. I want things to change. I'm ready, and even if I'm not I don't care. I want to see that light in the distance, because it's better the light at the end of the tunnel, than the utter emptiness of eternity. I'm ready for that light, be it large or the size of a pinpoint.
Intake was around 1500 D: but I still managed to lose. I have NO clue how. 104, up from before but down from yesterday. I bought protein bars today. All I can have for the next week. If I'm not under 100 by the end of march so help me. I'm ready for this.
Dance was good :) I did a PERFECT quadruple turn. Best of all, the teacher actually saw it. Has anyone else noticed you only do something incredible when no one is paying attention? But she saw it! The entire class did. I was elated.
So 4! because I did 4 turns, and I'm 104. It's just a 4 kind of day.
We're ready for anything ladies :D
Darkness presses down on me, drowning out the sound. I just want to find the light a keep it burning strong.
First week of 16. I keep looking for changes, for a reason someone would notice me. I stare in the mirror and I don't see anything. Not me now, not me then. I don't see any of it. I know that nothings truly changed, that I'm the same person I was last week, but I don't want to believe that. Every year that passes and I'm still trapped in my head is another year too long. I want to start living. I want things to change. I'm ready, and even if I'm not I don't care. I want to see that light in the distance, because it's better the light at the end of the tunnel, than the utter emptiness of eternity. I'm ready for that light, be it large or the size of a pinpoint.
Intake was around 1500 D: but I still managed to lose. I have NO clue how. 104, up from before but down from yesterday. I bought protein bars today. All I can have for the next week. If I'm not under 100 by the end of march so help me. I'm ready for this.
Dance was good :) I did a PERFECT quadruple turn. Best of all, the teacher actually saw it. Has anyone else noticed you only do something incredible when no one is paying attention? But she saw it! The entire class did. I was elated.
So 4! because I did 4 turns, and I'm 104. It's just a 4 kind of day.
We're ready for anything ladies :D
Special thanks to:
Gymnast~I love cake too :P well, love hate. Thank you so much and I'm trying, promise :)
Katie Ehrlich~Thank you. I'm sorry to hear about your mother's choices, it's hard to watch. I'd say I don't have any troubles with guys, but I avoid them altogether so ...
Katie Ehrlich~Thank you. I'm sorry to hear about your mother's choices, it's hard to watch. I'd say I don't have any troubles with guys, but I avoid them altogether so ...
I'm so glad that your teacher saw it. Dance sounds so much fun. I have never danced except for hip hop dance when I was like 13. It wasn't my forte. I bet you can get below 100 by the end of this month. I believe in you hun!
ReplyDeleteXOXO Katie